if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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