Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
