i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
