omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
