plz talk dirty to me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
