you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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