I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
True strength comes from lack of pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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