I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
