CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
soo... how was my night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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