So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
