im about as happy as oj after his trial
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
