Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
