mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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