when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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