She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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