ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
