dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
