she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
