Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
