She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
