Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Barsexuality is the new black.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
