9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
