my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
