I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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