Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
