so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
