I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The air was thick with penises
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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