You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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