shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
