i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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