You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
