so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
