i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
