he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
