I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
