My boss' voice literally gives me gas
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
