Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
