The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
