I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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