currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
