I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dick very happy bro
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
