And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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