I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize