i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
