Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
