just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
