need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
