Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
