New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
