Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
